Matt x 2

This was a really interesting weekend. We had a party for Lori Friday night to celebrate it being her last day having to student teach kindergarten. She starts 5th grade in a week – the grade she’s wanted to teach all along. Lori, Amanda, and I went to Godfather’s Pizza for supper. We had to wait 45 minutes for our pizza while people who ordered after us got their pizza before us. I didn’t really care that much though. Ever since I’ve worked at Vanity, I’ve been much more relaxed about people in the service industries. Especially since I suspect that I will be getting a waitressing job for over the summer and through the next school year.

We came back to the apartment and hung out, waiting for people to show up. We told them to come around 7-7:30. Caitlin showed up with Amber Caylor and we had fun talking. Then Lori’s fellow student teachers, Tom and Matt, showed up. Tom is from Coe and I know him because he used to work in the writing center. Freshman year we were actually a little bit close. I hung out in his room a lot the first semester. I don’t really remember how it came about that we stopped being friends and hanging out. I suspect it has something to do with Alex being jealous and me caving to his wishes. Not that I regret it. Tom has turned a little pompous as the years have gone by. Still, he’s a nice guy all around.

Matt. Matt was awesome. Okay, maybe I should be more specific. Lori said he was cute and he was Catholic and he might be late because he was working at a fish fry that evening. He ended up making it on time though. I must admit to having developed a small crush on him. I haven’t met a decent guy in quite some time, at least not one that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with. Matt has potential. We were playing a dice game and he had to get down on his knees, take a swig, then sing a song. He broke out in “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling”, Top Gun style. It was adorable. Turns out, he was in the Navy. And now he’s student teaching kindergarten. How adorable is that? I don’t think it can get much better than that. Tough and tender all in one package. (P.S.- He likes Gone with the Wind!)

Mom called me Saturday morning and I hadn’t been thinking about last night but she bombarded me with questions as if she knew something had happened. I swear she has a 6th sense. She knows things without ever being told by anyone. In fact, she told me later than afternoon that she had suspected I’d met someone. I was thinking about him while cleaning Dad’s shop. I told Dad and my brother Adam about him while I was there and I was going to call Mom, too, but I had accidentally mopped myself away from my cell phone and by the time I got back to it, I’d forgotten again. So when she talked to me in the afternoon, Dad and Adam had already told her and she was angry that I was “hiding things from her” when I really wasn’t. So I got angry then we worked it out. My mom is kind of crazy sometimes.

Matt was going to come over and watch The Unsinkable Molly Brown with my roommates and me on Saturday night but he had a migraine. Now, since Lori is my connection and she’s going to visit her parents in Kentucky, I won’t be able to see him to see if my feelings are real or imagined out of loneliness for another two weeks at least. (She's gone a whole week then next week is spring break!) I’m trying to decide if I have enough guts to get his number from Lori and call him myself, maybe ask him out on a date. But I told Caleb I was going to make the guy come to me. But thinking about the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, if I don’t take the initiative, maybe I’ll be missing out. The worst thing he can do is turn me down. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard enough from guys that they like having the pressure of asking a girl out taken off their hands. I can handle rejection. I was practically stood up last semester when Matt – talk about irony – said yes in the beginning of the week then called me the day of to cancel because he’s already in another relationship. Talk about harsh. Especially since I see him every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in choir.

Do I have the guts to call him out of the blue and ask him? Did I really feel that much of a connection or am I just desperate? I feel like I should see him again in a social setting before making the gutsy move I know I’m quite capable of. I’m just not sure I did feel anything. Maybe I should pump Mom for more information about her feeling. Was it a good feeling? Or a bad feeling? Should I go after him? Should I have patience?

ASA formal is at the end of the month and I RSVP’d that I would have a date. If it comes right down to it and I still don't have a date I’ll take my brother or Caleb. But I think I’d like to take Matt. I put a little pressure on myself by saying I’d bring a date. I almost wish I hadn’t. Too late, though. Amanda says she’s going to take Ashley, which will be fun. We’ve kind of adopted her into our own private sector of ASA. And Lori’s fiancée Josh will be here too. I’ll be the odd woman out if I don’t have a date. I want a date. I want a relationship. I want my gut to stop wrenching every time I see a romantic kiss in a movie.