I'm looking forward to Friday evening so much. It will mean that I don't have to think about anything for at least five days. Its only five because I need to study over break for my chem test the Wednesday we come back. I should be doing okay though. I just need to work on some of the math problems. I get the theory just fine.
I'm trying to remember yesterday but it was such a blur...thank God I made it through with no big mishaps.
I had a critique yesterday. I think it went well. I showed my mom's piece, some more Hillary pieces, and some self-portraits. There was definitely a good conversation going on. They seemed to really like my mom's portrait. Lucy predicted that they would spend the most time talking about it but I think the conversation was fairly evenly divided between the different people. I do think that Charlie is a pessimist. Okay, that might be a little harsh, but his photographic standards are so much higher than mine. I'll be honest, I'm doing this to get through the semester and get the degree. After this point I doubt I will pick up a camera and specifically create art. I will definitely take better pictures because I have experience with a camera but as for the art creation, it probably won't happen. Its not my passion. I don't care if my photographs are top quality standards because two months from now, they won't matter at all. I'll be focusing on the science and learning as much as I can to be as prepared for the MCATs as I can.
I look back and wonder how I managed to be in art in the first place. I was in an astronomy class and I decided to drop it and switch to Drawing 1. How did I get to digital art from that? I'm having difficulty remembering. Oh, I remember taking the classes, but my thought process in pursuing art? No clue. Apparently I wrote Nana a letter my freshman year saying I wanted to be a doctor. What happened? How did I fall off the doctor bandwagon then? I hate to say it but I think it was who I was when I dated Alex. I didn't have time to dedicate to schooling - and chemistry is requiring a ton of time - and art is fairly simple to pursue and so it just happened. I don't regret it. I think having an art degree with be useful. Simply having the creative experience will look good on my resume, especially since I plan to do extremely well on the MCATs.
I have this secret plan that I will study what I learned this year (anatomy, chemistry 1&2) over the summer. A section a day, or something like that to keep the ideas fresh in my mind but the reality is that I probably won't. I might start out strong. I might do well for the first few weeks but we all know that it won't last through the whole summer. Its just too much effort, especially someone who has just graduated and now realizes that the next few years are going to be just as hectic and involved. Except this time, maybe I'll just be a regular student with no extra-curricular activities. Caleb is probably laughing now that he's read that sentence. I'm not capable of having nothing to do. I know I know, laugh all you want, Caleb. I am still planning on hanging out with you over break so we can watch the movie.
I will make it through today. I will make it through tomorrow. And then I will make it through the rest of my life. One day at a time, no matter how busy. The day always has to end. And though I bring my busy-ness and stress on myself, I would still choose to be busy than unaccomplished.
PS - Still no word from Lori about Matt, though I did have a text conversation with her yesterday. He hasn't replied to her so there's nothing she can do.
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