Barbara Cartland and portraits

I got a package in the mail today! It was a box of Barbara Cartland books. For those of you who don't know, Barbara Cartland was a british romance novel writer and was extremely prolific. She has over 600 titles to her name! And they are ridiculously cheesy and fast reads. I love them. They have their own special place in the book system. What is the book system? Let me explain:

The book system was developed by me to increase the variety of books that I read. When I was younger my mom complained that all I ever read was science fiction and fantasy and she was worried about them warping my brain. She wanted me to read more christian books but I find them pretty dull. There's a reason I like science fiction and fantasy and its because I think they require much larger stretches of the imagination than realistic fiction. I have since decided to branch out a little bit more. So, the book system came into being because I kept having more books to read than I had time to read and I would find myself skipping books because I forgot about them. Now I have a shelf where I put the books in line on the right and read from the left. So far its worked pretty well. I've actually managed to get all the way through one shelf, though it keeps growing to the right.

They are also on the shelf in a specific order: one barbara cartland romance novella, followed by four longer books, one of which has to be a non-science-fiction/fantasy book. Then it repeats. I realize that this is a bit anal about books but its the way my mind works. I have to have it organized or I'll go crazy. Lists make me feel better. I'd list the books in my system here but I think it would be pretty boring to read.

I met with my chemistry tutor earlier today. Some people might wonder why I have a tutor when I seem to be doing just fine in the class but just fine and the best I can are not the same thing. Besides, I'd rather have a tutor and not need one very often than need one and not have one. The way the professor is teaching the class (the socratic method with no main lectures) requires much more effort on my part and while I'm pretty good at teaching myself, even I need help to figure out some of the more complex chemistry concepts.

There's no bible study tonight so I'm going to go home and take pictures as soon as I get done with stuff this afternoon. I think I'm pretty close to being done with my mother but I've still got some stuff I'd like to do with Hillary. I want to get a picture of her on the roof with the moon and some more mirror pictures. Maybe I can do something with the gorgeous wood-framed mirror I borrowed from the art department. It makes me think of the evil queen from Snow White's mirror. I keep expecting to see a ghostly green face looking out of it instead of the normal reflection. Working with mirrors in photographs has been really exciting. I've got a great one of me as a self-portrait. I'm not sure if I'll post it or not though because some people might object to the content. Its pretty morbid, because I'm unclothed and I look dead. That was the goal though, to make it look like a crime. I think I've achieved it. I'll probably put it in my senior show if I'm brave enough to be naked in my senior show in front of my whole family.

Ironically, its the people I'm closest too that I'm the most worried will object to this portrait. I'm much more comfortable with being naked in photographs that strangers will see. This probably has to with me knowing the values of my family. I pretty sure they are going to look at the picture and see a breast and that's all they'll see. They won't see the dead look on my face, the mirror, or the teddy bear on the bedspread. They probably won't be able to get past the nakedness to see the raw emotion this portrays about how I feel about myself. I know Lucy is going to love it. I hope I have the guts to put it up. It really is a thought-provoking image.